Yoga Pants 'Preciation

Yoga Pants 'Preciation
27 Febrero 2014 1500
"Any idiot can drive in a straight line, but it takes an expert to handle curves." Some Wiseass, Internetz

     First and foremost lemme apologize ahead of time for the words I'm going to say in this post. I hope people, esp. the better sex, do not think of me any less for my opinions that will be imparted on this page about current lifestyle and fashion trends. I had said on previous posts that I will appreciate the world I'm living in more as a part of my 30th year on rock as well as a new years resolution. So I'm going to start that sentiment with this (let's smell the flowers *wink wink*). Let it be known that its with great intent that I furnish this post as well as the penchant for crude humor that I'm allowing my raw male, full of douchiness and perversion, to unleash itself. Truly it is only of greatest motivation to shed my happiness in appreciating the fairer gender's bodies. If it offends you, I'm sorry. Secondly, let's not blame yours truly why such posts need be made. Don't tell me I'm the only one that says "Dammmn!", "Hmmm!", "Ummm girl..." or any such similar phrases, remarks, or animalistic auditory exclamations (verbal or mental) when  a beautiful woman strut her stuff while aptly clad? Thirdly, tis the season for it. Snow is abetting and melting and sun is coming out again. Spring beckons us to renew, our bodies and motivation to have better bodies. Let's analyze the verity that my top reasons why I appreciate yoga pants.

1. Distinction. You're right, I can't tell the difference between yoga pants or yoga leggings. Nor do I care like most men. All I know are its simple basic constructs: a. they're meant to be used in yoga b. they're made  of stretchy substance/material/amazingness c. it flatters the curves d. ...and even more so when they're wet and schweaty (trans. perv pronunciation of the 'sweaty'). And that's all I need to know. Leggings, pants, schmants. All I know is I like them. And honestly if you think about it, neither do other women. Not just with the differences about the clothing itself, but how and when it should be worn. I don't think women in general know how they should use it either, and neither the time nor place when it should be employed (that maybe you should do a lot of yoga first before you decide to use it outside of the class).

2. Efficient. I'm not advocating you wear it all over the place (...or am I?) but I think the case is these pants had been globetrotting. I've seen moms use it shopping with their kids, I've seen runners on trails, seen older ladies in the gym, I've seen it women wear it clubs/bars, in restaurants, seen it in the library, commuting on the light rail, walking around downtown in the weekend or just at home chillin' with it on etc. etc. etc. The pro: it saves women time and they're 'comfy'. The con: people find it inappropriate that a piece of clothing you could sweat on is worn everywhere, and that people aren't contemplating the propriety of wear and simply wearing something that is easy. I'm kind of torn. Obviously I like them, but the same time more conservative views are also right. I think though at the end of the day we could comment on it, but we really don't have a say on people's choices of clothing. They can choose what they want to wear and they are the ones who will face the consequences (whatever that may imply) of their actions. It's a free world. Nor should we dwell on what it represent a woman simply because she wears them. Sometimes we judge too fast to call these girls names when we don't know why they wear it at places they do. Sometimes a woman don't wear it to pick up her kids at school so other dads could ogle her; it maybe that it's emergency and that she's coming out of the gym from tight schedule and happens to be just wearing what she's wearing. Let's be open minded. End of the day it’s none of our beeswax.

 3. Ghost Recon. See when you're appreciating women's beauty it's hard to hide your eye movements. Ever got caught with "Uh I'm here perv, talk to my face"? Cleavages are just below a woman's eye level and range that you're easily caught 'appreciating' her God-crafted/nature evolved (or manmade) beautiful mammalian body parts. No so much when the rear lady lumps are highlighted. Yoga pants create a butt cleavage phenomenon what tight low cut shirts did for the milkshake parts above. Unless she's got a Third Eye or she's an owl and can turn her head 180, if you're a sneaky little ninja you can grace upon the these lovely peaks in relative safety of not being found out. Creeps of the world unite!

4. Inspiration. Today there's a lot of shenanigans going on esp. in the social scene (on the media, social media and just discussion circles in general) on the subject of obesity. One side are the fat shamers and the other side the anti-fat shamers. The fat shamers are the asshole bullies that instigate often chauvinistic sentiments embarrassing unhealthy and unfit people as if they themselves are fit. It's oftentimes ridiculous, sexist, chauvinistic, perfectionist and irrational rants and pictures that they employ to sow the seeds of discord. The other side of the spectrum are populated by not so rational people as well (just like any opinion coterie, from Congress to gossip circles). The anti-fat shamers are reactionaries that seem to think that everything spoken against unhealthy lifestyle is bullying, is damaging to people's feelings, and that we can't be honest and use rationality to speak out against the very dangerous obesity epidemic in this country. They do not know that their uber-politically correct attitude (that sheds no distinction between rational dialogue against obesity and straight bullying) sustains unhealthy lifestyle because it prevents people from getting the message across: obesity kills and it's rampant. Why can't we just accept that obesity isn't healthy and instead encourage women (and men) that need help without having to look down on them?

Yoga pants are great because it inspires women to want to have that body, a healthier body. Understand that, like mentioned on a previous post, despite people probably saying that they want a better body for health reasons, the fact of the matter is most people probably are driven by VANITY more than anything. So instead of us being asshole hypocrites speaking out against obese people as if we've got <10 BF%, or trying to bullshit them as if it's okay not to strive for a better body, let's just let a piece of clothing speak for itself. There's a reason why they have pictures of abs and tight arms on gyms; it makes people remember why they're working hard. Call it stupid, call it shallow, hey it get stuff done. Let's just let yoga pants and how they look carry that discussion on the streets. Obviously if you don't look hot in it, you and everyone else will know because there's no room hide in those pants. If you do look good however, well you're going to be an inspiration to others (that’s why many women on Youtube and Instagram are being followed not by men, but many by women who use their pictures and videos as inspiration). No fat shaming, no words, just the naked truth.

Also what a lot of women don't know is it also an inspiration for guys. There is a study that shows that men perform better during exercises when the opposite sex is present. So yes ladies, do the world a favor and help guys at the gym by wearing it if you got it. Help fight obesity, even if it’s just for heterosexual males.

5. It’s a statement. Clothing had always been a definition, identification, and a statement for many peoples for centuries. Various ethnic groups wear certain clothing to represent their own identity and beliefs. Today that is no different. That is, except that instead of cultural groups, we have subcultural groups and individuals who are creating a fashion statement for themselves using such clothing. I think yoga pants is/could also belong in that category. Whether it's the neo-holistic health/medicine lifestyle crowd or simply those who enjoy yoga, it's a statement of their lifestyle and their choices. Now since most women who wear it DON'T do yoga, the pants had become an all-around health nut get up choice. Whether it's crossfit, Tabata/HIIT, short endurance and obstacle course races that's popular with many people (like Tough Mudder, Spartan) you'd see many women wearing these pants, esp. those muscle pants ( pretty much leggings that's designed to look like when skin is peeled and muscle is show underneath). Some women even create self-obsessed selfies of them with titles like "Do U Even Lift Bro?" or "Girl Who Squatz" with their quads popping out of their pants like a volcano. It's seem to say that they belong a certain group of people that have certain hobbies and activities that they share. Some women wear it just to drop jaws (if you're sexy and you know it...). There's also a group of women who wear yoga pants for a different reason. Those that say to hell with superficial modern physical standards that are created by a shallow society, they wear it to make that statement. They say that you should love your body at whatever size it maybe, same way a lot of women nowadays are taking naked pictures of themselves and say "I love my body" etc. Whatever your beliefs are, let's just agree that there's tons of different ways that these tight fitting clothing create a form of speech that represent individuals' beliefs and lifestyles.

                There I end my spiel on this trend. No way had I written this to offend anyone, but rather to remind people to love their bodies as much as other people (esp. perverts like me) do.

I love you long time,

McLovin’ out.

Relevant tunes:

Bellamy Bros.- If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body
India.Arie- Video
Mos Def- Ms. Fat Booty
K. West- The New Workout Plan
Savage- Swing